A Sweet Jewel

I have been reading Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson, one of my all time favorite writers and speakers. Sally has a heart God's design for mothering and family. Chapter 4 is on "The Servant Mother". Being a Servant Mother is not being a maid to your children. Becoming a servant mom is a progression, just like all the other areas in our lives in which we strive to follow God's design.

"Choosing to be a servant-mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the talk of mothering- and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment. It means that, by faith, I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks and myriad interruptions of daily life because I believe it is God's will for me to serve my family through them. Making this choice ahead of time means I will expect problems and needs to arise and be ready to deal with them in peace instead of impatience and resentment." Sally Clarkson

Practically speaking, servant mothering means cleaning up the vomit without complaint when it makes you sick too. It's rubbing your sons back to help him get back to sleep after a bad dream, even when you are tired and could use the back rub yourself. It's taking the moments to stop doing dishes and watch your daughter flit through the room with out the put-out look on your face. It means reading a book to them...just because. It's trying REALLY hard not to gripe about laundry that is NEVER finished. It's taking time to notice the little things as BIG, not forgetting that Lego creations deserve our excitement and attention just as as finding their toes and taking their first steps did. It's INTENTIONALLY showing your children that they are important and loved unconditionally.

About 11:30 Friday morning, after I had been cleaning and teaching school, I sat down for a quick break under the air vent when my stomach began to hurt. Of course, I thought if I just got up and got busy, I could make it stop! How silly is that?! So, I took my two children to the local water park for a much needed break from routine. The problem was, my stomach was getting worse. About 45 minute at the water park, I am on the phone with my husband, crying and trying not to pass out from the pain and heat. I don't know exactly what part of the water park my son is in and I am hurting too much to yell out to get my daughter's attention. Just then, my son comes up and I tell him we have to leave and to please get his sister. Without a glimpse of selfish disappointment that we were leaving, my almost 11 year old turns in to a young man, gets my daughter and our things together and leads the way out of the park. On the way to the car he calls my husband to let him know that we are on our way home. Then, as I am putting the car into drive he says "Wait, wait, let's pray over mom before we go." He prayed for healing and that we would be safe on the way home. Once we made it home, he made sure I was comfortable, asked if I needed ginger ale or crackers and played with his sister quietly so I could rest. At one time he came in, laid his hand on mine and said "I just want to do all this for you to repay you for all the times you take care of me." So, now I'm crying and have stomach cramps.

What a jewel that moment was for me. It is something I will think on when I am exhausted and at the end of my patience. It is a token that will propel me to fight the good fight in my home. The point in sharing this story is to say that our blessings are far more that diamonds and pearls when we choose to live by God's design. When we make ourselves empty vessels that can be used by Him to bless our children with security, love and respect, we raise up a generation that blesses others as well. The sacrifices we do or don't make, and the attitude in which we do things, make lasting impressions on the hearts of our children. The sacrifice is worth the reward.

Seared

Yesterday during school, yes we home school in the summer, we read about France's Revolution and then about the Reign of Terror.  I found myself holding back tears and trying to read with a lump in my throat.   Don't get me wrong, I understand war.  I understand why we have them and I think our men and women who serve this country are worthy of great honor! But the French Revolution was nothing like the American Revolution.  It ended nothing like the American Revolution.  I was so saddened by the accounts of Robespierre's "Reign of Terror".  Although the visual in my head about the guillotine is awful, the most heart-wrenching accounts were of the people celebrating in the spilled blood of those beheaded (many of who were innocent men, women, elderly and children)

My thought was "how do you get to the point in your thinking where soaking up blood on your handkerchief is joyous and a sign of victory?"  I don't know the answer to this.

I do know that there were people like that when Jesus spilled his blood for us.  There were men and women who celebrated at every lash of the whip, every chunk of flesh and every drop of blood that he gave for us.  My question now is "How do we get to the point in our thinking that NONE of that moves us?"  How do we become seared to the pain, embarrassment and torture our Savior endured so that we could spend eternity with him?

I don't want to be more moved by a history lesson than I am by the sacrifice my Lord and Savior Jesus made for me.   I don't want to be seared of the feelings of deep gratitude and profound, utter thankfulness to the one who paid the price for MY sin.

My prayer is that the Bible, all that is in it, would move me.  That it would spur me on to be a better wife, mother, daughter and friend.  That I would not take my FREEDOM lightly.  That I would be thankful for the life God has given me and that I would "Walk in the Fullness of God's Calling on My Life."  That I would bring honor and praise and glory to his name because it is REAL.

What is Your Legacy?

I met with a friend of mine Wednesday over some french fries and sweet tea (I know...BAD lunch) to discuss our hearts' passion for Biblical mothering.  We have the same heartbeat and have been very blessed to see the fruit from stepping out and following God's leading in this area. 

One thing we discussed is that many of the women who reject Biblical motherhood or who do not live their lives according to scriptural design, do it because they they don't KNOW what Biblical motherhood looks like, not because they are in rebellion (granted, there are some).  Because our society defines success as a move up the career ladder, Biblical motherhood has been lost in a crowd of conflicting ideas.  Even in our churches today, pastors and leaders will not stand up and teach what Biblical motherhood looks like. It would infuriate much of the congregation and step on many of the pastor's toes in the process.

My prayer for mothers is simple. That through much prayer and obedience to what God is asking me to teach on, share about and live my live as an example of, He will deeply move a generation of mothers to step up and be a mom first and foremost, above superficial success of career. To encourage young mothers to seek God's design for mothering.  To be bold and courageous enough to go against the flow, to swim up stream from societies goals and ridicule. That when their children are grown, they may "rise up and call her blessed" Proverbs 31:28 for staying the course even when it looked so different from the others around her. To encourage women to leave a strong Biblical imprint on their children's lives...to leave a Godly legacy for generations to come.

"It is not simply a lifestyle choice. It is a divine calling that will indeed affect eternity."

Sally Clarkson, Mission of Motherhood, pg 16

I am IN NO WAY saying that I have it all together, or that I know all the answers, but I do know the one who does.  I have a Savior who left a great love letter to me that includes life's instructions.  He has laid out the road signs...it's up to me to choose to follow them.

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Matthew 6:33. 

God in the Laundry?

I think my favorite book in the Bible is James.  My kids laugh when we talk about what we have been reading, because 8 of 10 times I have just reread a passage in James!  I think I love it because it's SO full, hard to read sometimes because it steps...no STOMPS on your toes, but it is rich.  There is so much to learn from that little book way in the back of the Bible.

Anyway, another passage that is dear to me, even though it too, steps on my toes, is Proverbs 301:10-31.  It is the passage that lays out what a Godly woman and wife should look like. 

Last night, after church, the house was quiet and there was still so much that needed to be accomplished.  Tempted to grumble as I was changing out the laundry at 11:00, an amazing thing happened!  God brought Proverbs to my thoughts instead.  I recalled that Proverbs 31:18b "her candle goeth not out by night."  Well, that changed my whole attitude!

You see, while I was standing there folding clothes, I realized that I was making strides in becoming the woman, wife and mother that I so earnestly study about and strive to become.  It is a LONG process! We can't just read a passage in the Bible and think that the next day, by some grand miracle, we will become what we have read.  BOY, there's a thought!  Too bad that doesn't happen!

I have studied and prayed and cried about and prayed and studied Proverbs 31.  It is my hearts desire to be this woman.  To fear the Lord, admonish my husband and provide a "safe" place for him.  To be a prepared mother and raise up Godly children and to show the love of Christ to others around me through kindness and compassion.  But it all starts in the heart while I'm folding laundry, late at night in a dark quiet house.  Do I grumble, or do I praise the Lord? Do I "count it all joy" as James 1:2 says?

I still have a long way to go. I know I will never be perfect, but perfection is not my goal.  To be able to stand before my Lord Jesus and know that I have made every effort to "Walk in the Fullness of God's Calling on My Life" so that he might say, "well done, my good and faithful servant." That, my dear friends, is the desire of my heart, the goal I am reaching for. 

What is yours?